Do you have any tips on how to build self-compassion? The idea that someone has been hurt by my actions is very troubling to me and I wish I could back and stop myself from behaving in this way. But I feel like I need punishment and like I don’t deserve a second chance at being a good person. I’m trying to stop watching porn and have been reconnecting with my Christian faith. When its not Real Event OCD its the What If/Fill in the blanks OCD. This post has been thanked 2 times. Hi, you absolutely deserve forgiveness. Hope this helped! When I’ve made previous posts on other subreddits people have told me to forgive myself, that my behaviour wasn’t right but it’s okay to move on and be better in the future. Even if you cheated in your relationship right now, it doesn’t make you a bad person. I feel like the only way I can overcome this is by coming clean to her, but I can't bear the thought of hurting her (another of my OCD themes from the past) or ruining what we have. Our relationship has been going brilliantly, and this hadn't bothered me. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. New to forum and I had a unstable upbringing which has left me with some memories of things that happens to be and the silly things I regret doing as a young lad. I was almost blackout drunk, in a nightclub, and have this memory of a few seconds of kissing someone on the dancefloor. Thank you for this reply, some very helpful concepts here. Source: http://www.ocdspecialists.com/real-event-ocd/ On a side note, www.ocdspecialists.com is a great resource for learning about OCD! Try to build some self-compassion. Distract. Hope this helps somehow x. Intrusive thoughts are always an OCD lie. A requested video from the comments section of an older vid about real event OCD. TL;DR - memories that I drunkenly kissed someone else in the early stages of a then-as-yet unofficial relationship - now feeling extreme guilt and obsessions + compulsions to confess. Am I using OCD as an excuse or do I deserve the guilt/shame that I'm feeling? I’ve been suicidal over this and it’s really made me question a lot of things about myself. I can't get the thought out of my mind that this wasn't ok and I've been a terrible person by not owning up to this mistake. I still sometimes have false memories and panic attacks over whether I cheated in the early stages of my relationship, which sounds like what’s happening. There are many people out there who have done things they regret a lot. I used the fake profiles because I didn’t want to be found out as gay or have my face connected to my nudes. I am completely in love with her and we have been in a relationship since May 2019. Wanted to ask for some help/insight/guidance as real event OCD and rumination is dominating my whole life. The next morning I remembered it and acknowledged it had happened but for some reason at the time, I didn't feel guilty. That even if explicit cheating has occurred, many relationships can and do survive! Right now it feels like even attempting to be compassionate with myself is taking away from what I did. I’m just very confused as to whether the level of guilt is created by real event ocd, reassurance seeking: what I’m doing right now and seeking out support from my counsellor and therapist, Rumination: thinking constantly about everything even minutely related to this, Obsession with confessing or the idea of confessing, Feeling guilty for not feeling guilty about this. Cancel culture and all that is massively triggering and is "in vogue" at the moment so it's very toxic environment for ocd sufferers with this theme. Real event OCD, petrified of being arrested So it's hardly something I'm proud of, but when I was a teenager I had something of a hentai phase and a few times I looked at loli/shota. Roy21. When these intrusive memories come up, you feel a gut-punching sensation of intense guilt. The therapist is there to help you untangle and alleviate any worries you may have. But he didn’t know what else to do, and ultimately my first round of therapy sputtered out. Previous relationship experiences, such as being cheated on in the past, may also be a trigger, but it's not the ultimate cause of ROCD. Is this my OCD blowing things out of proportion or have I really f**ked up and need to come clean? Thanks: 28. All I ever do anymore is sit around and think about the kind of person I have been. Please read below for more information and resources about about OCD and what this subreddit is! The chats were often sexual, but I never shared any photos or chats with anyone else. 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