In 1976, Frank Baker had an idea. “Pretty bad. -People who eat string cheese with seasoned salt/chili powder like some Atkins’ version of Lik-M-Aid-People building gingerbread houses BUT they’re actually log cabins made of mozz stix glued together with Easy Cheese-People who dice their string cheese up with Slim Jims and pretzel rods and serve it up with mustard as ”salad” All that yoga mat material Subway was using in their bread is what this cheese must be made from. However, many testers by this point in the event had consumed far too much Franzia and processed cheese to continue shoving additional items down their pieholes, so its scarcity was really a blessing in disguise. ... Well, prepare to have your world rocked, because some people eat their string cheese like THIS. “Smells like plastic,” said taster Katie Mayo, who also found the cheese salty and “moist.” Another taster provided the seemingly contradictory description; “stringy bland goodness.” One suggested that “jalapeños” would improve the flavor. Follow her on twitter and instagram. This delicious, calcium-rich food is a healthy part of … The 200 Best Lesbian, Queer & Bisexual Movies Of All Time, Serious Eats recently did a string cheese taste test of their own, The Lezlympics: For the Discerning Lesbian Oil Wrestler, No Filter Heard Miley Cyrus is on the Prowl, Top 10 Lesbian, Queer or Bisexual Celebrities We Remember Being Out Back Then, Scenes from a Gender 03: Trans Resilience Throughout 2020, Tell Me Something Good Please I’m Begging You: A 2020 Roundtable. I long for the day when the string cheese professionals of the world combine forces to formulate a string cheese we can be proud of. Yay! Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts, ? I cannot even handle how useful this is to me. Eat cheese from mildest to strongest if it is served on a platter. The way that people eat their string cheese says a lot about them. I’m so sad I missed this very important session. Quick tip: When you’re craving string cheese, reach for part-skim or low-fat. i’m glad i saved the string cheese tasting to the experts and just got the leftover wine, This was a lot of fun. How can I stumble upon a person so many times online and not once in person? Attending this event was probably one of the most important things I ever did in my life. * Hasn't been analyzed but does contain carbs. But MOST importantly, who is this mysterious jalapeño-loving reviewer??? Some may show no sign of a problem but watch their behavior and bathroom habits after eating it. No flavor at the start and then pleasantly develops into feet.”, “Not as stringy or as tasty as it could be. If your cat eats cheese—or any dairy product for that matter—it can cause a few gastrointestinal issues. Missed it at camp, making it an activity at a future party. I’m just here to talk about how cute Analyssa is in those pictures. This was the best thing I’ve ever read in my entire life. Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window), Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window), Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window), Click to email this to a friend (Opens in new window), Since it is now January 1st, it is exactly one year since I moved to a different country just because…, I’m french so I had access to “Call my Agent!” season 4 earlier than most of you. “Tastes like childhood.”, Once again, an unnamed tester had the following suggestion: “jalapeños are needed.”, Other negative reviews included Camille Wiseman’s evaluation that it “tastes like a block of cheese dressed up as an imposter string cheese,” and Louise’s assertion that “If you really feel like string cheese and there’s nothing else around, it’d do.”, Finally, one disappointed tester lamented, “Overwhelming taste of sodium and desperation.”, Cheese and wine is fun for everyone! Try your luck at these options: String cheese octopus; String cheese snowflake; String cheese lion; String cheese people; Eat String Cheese Whole. That's fantastic. At this epic workshop, about 30 A-Campers sampled a variety of string cheeses and boxed wines and ranked them on a number of important scales. This process only delays the delivery of cheese to mouth and I endorse the husbands “barbaric” ways in order to consume more cheese in a faster manner. Laneia was so overwhelmed by the stick ponies! This causes the tearing effect associated with this type of snack cheese. In this case, instead of molding the mozzarella cheese into balls, the cheese is stretched again and again to attain that stringy texture and it is dried out instead of soaking it in brine. Best I have tried so far!”, “Way less waxy than Trader Joe’s. I’m blushing furiously, you both are far too cool to be calling me cute, I crashed this event with my stick horse to use the hot glue and immediately regretted not having been there for the whole thing. hehehe. The stringiest cheese of the day has sadly also turned out to be the most flavorless. But also, a huge amount of cheese to eat at one time! Cheese you pull into strings and eat? What is happening?”, “Bland, pasty, mushy. Why did this cheese ever happen?” Other reviews weren’t much better: “The description made this sound amazing, but it is a big let down.”, “Tastes better than the mozz but feels so fake.”, “Bendy, stringy, hard, fine, whatever, I want a nap, I miss Trader Joes.”, “Smells like it’s already gone bad. Other cheeses that are lower in fat include Colby cheese, Monterey Jack, and Swiss cheese. Cheese to avoid during pregnancy; Can You Eat Cheese During Pregnancy? God Bless America.”, Cheese tasters hard at work (photo by Bree Peacock). Rich in Calcium for healthy bones. “Super soft and surprisingly good,” wrote yet another passionate cheese-consumer. analyssa’s face when I successfully unfurled the rack of string cheese though, and really hana’s face Whats more concerning though is that eating 7 string cheeses had no effect on me…Was it really cheese? … Copyright 2009 - 2021 The Excitant Group, LLC. My face is really setting the tone for everyone’s string cheese feelings I think. 49; Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window) I don’t know man. Not so awesome for stringing, but yummy factor compensates for that.”, This cheese also found a fan in Christina S., who declared it “delicious” and “easy to open.”, Sydney Blanchard was downright enthusiastic about this item, calling it “the best food I’ve had on the mountain so far.” (Ed. Who gave him this right to ignore the "string" part? 5 stars. 3 hours ago. Cheese in a “stick” form made so that you can peel away strips of it a little at a time. Just a half cup gives your baby an impressive 12 grams of protein. No way to explain it. As with so many foods out there, though, this conveniently packaged cheese comes with strings attached: Each “string unit” contains about 193 milligrams of sodium, so snack on these little wonders in moderation. If your dog is a professional beggar like mine, be sure to look for low-sodium versions of string cheese to be on the safe side. You married the guy who eats string cheese like that? Its soooooo good. Texture reminds me of eating strangely dry mud. Peels very satisfyingly.”, “The level of stringy-ness is just incredible, but also how do they get cheese product to do that. According to the Sargento study, people feel quite strongly on the “correct” way to enjoy string cheese. Some cats should not eat cheese at all, and many other human foods … Tastes like plastic.”, “These are not strings. Very pungent aroma in a good way. It may not have been the highlight like chocolate chip cookies or Hostess Sno Balls, but it was salty and fun to eat—an acceptable outlet for those urges to play with your food. Some cheese isn’t safe during pregnancy, because it poses a higher risk of bacteria growth, like listeria. “Mellow but pleasant taste,” noted one taster. She was an excellent cocktail waitress, happy to provide a recommendation. “But texture and stringability is poor.”, It was not universally disliked, however. Some kinds of cheese are safer than others for felines, and too much cheese can make your cat very ill. At best, cheese is unnecessary for your cat, and you should avoid feeding it to them if possible. 1) Cheesehead or whatever is delicious but it’s fat free counterpart is not. I admire the commitment to jalapenos. I read this out loud to my sister, she enjoyed it, which is like a really big deal. I have a few thoughts. If you’re trying to fatten up a super-skinny pup, the odd portion of string cheese shouldn’t cause any disasters. note: there wasn’t much competition for that honor.) And if you’re wondering if they can eat string cheese or cheddar cheese, the answer is yes! This type of string cheese gets its name because it can be eaten by pulling strips of cheese from the cylinder. Queer Horoscopes for January 2021: How Will Your Sign Move Through Crisis and Remap Your World. Popcorn might get jammed up in his gum, which could be bad, since he can't floss to get it out, so I wouldn't really recommend that so much; too much salt and fake butter is probably bad for him anyway. There you go. Sargento received mixed reviews, especially when it came to ease of peeling. this should obviously be an e-book / cheese zine. In addition to being a convenient and nutritious snack, string cheese is also appealing for children. String cheese isn't called cheese, it's called string cheese. This product was regaled for its pleasantness and softness as well as its capacity to shock the eater right out of their knee-socks. Frigo was noted for its ease of stringiness and was the crowd favorite … Years later, we still haven't grown too old for string cheese. “I typically love Sargento cheeses,” wrote Rachelle Wise, “but was disappointed with this string cheese. Wait you’re not supposed to eat it like that? However, I did a search on the webbernet and learned that Serious Eats recently did a string cheese taste test of their own and Polly-O came out on top for being “exactly what we’d expect in a string cheese: not intensely cheese-flavored but just the right hit of salt. Though I did once return a bag of mexican cheese to my grocery store because I thought the jalapenos were bits of mold. not to out myself as the mystery critic, but i still feel v. strongly that Vons and Trader Joes needs to increase its commitment to string cheese diversity. String cheese is a delicious snack and our world's great answer to better cheese portability. Unless you’re a cheese-making professional, the process involved in crafting cheese is not part of your general knowledge. Sallee liked it too. The Expanse should be on here though. They always ate very healthily and wanted me to try what they ate, but from the start I didn't like the smell or the taste or the texture of food – except for cheese. Finally, I’d like to share this disturbing review of the product that should serve as a crucial cautionary tale: “First I’ve tried with absolutely no smell. In fact, I felt bamboozled because not only was a queer…. I need to know so that I can propose to them. Want to use it in a meal plan? I’ve never seen a cat eat any fruit but otherwise they’re curious about most anything. Masterful set-up of the boxed wine review, and a tasty treat all its own. “This tastes like it’s actually made of cheese.”. Not too stiff either, this one peels off in smooth, easy strands.”. that whole sentence is an adventure from start to finish, I think Autostraddle should hire me to write about food tbh, tbh i agree, i found your contributions very revelatory. Not too salty.”, Sydney Blanchard found the cheese “super soft but flawless,” adding that “I’m noticing string cheese basically always tastes like slightly cheesy air.” Another taster offered a similar review, “It’s not offensive, which is good — that’s what I look for in a string cheese. January 2021: What’s Gay and New on Netflix, Hulu, Amazon, HBOMax and Apple+? For now, let’s talk about string cheese! Keep in mind that some cats react differently than others. I eat mine with the peel, much better that way plus, it comes out already wrapped in plastic so i don't need to use a plastic bag. See North America section in reference to what is posted here. This is making me weirdly nostalgic for this guy who lived on my floor freshman year of college who made fun of me for (among other things) eating string cheese. This cheese is, in a word, adequate.”, “This one is moist and very generic tasting.”, “As far as the Galbani was concerned, what the actual fuck is this? It is fine for them to nibble. But then! Many reviewers questioned the product’s classification as cheese: “Too tough. I will share our findings on boxed wine in a different post. Too firm. More for me. What was I doing while this was happening?? Laneia stated without hesitation that she disliked the cheese, finding it “greasy at the end, and sad. In this case, apparently you can’t have your strings and eat it too. “Scary mascot but delicious processed cheese,” said one taster. I am into EATING my cheese not PLAYING with it. Finally, Sam fit this cheese into a larger and more frightening narrative, remaking: “Once more the greedy head of the major food corporations has slandered the good name of string cheese by trying to pass off this unpeelable stick of rubber as actual string cheese. I would make a sandwich with this cheese. Oh, oh this cheese is super stringy with delightful hairs -- and no split ends! The study states that “64% of people would peel string cheese versus 36% of people who would bite it.”. Then it is very delicious. I am going to go out on a limb and share my hot take on string cheese. Other tasters found success opening their cheese, but were generally unimpressed with what lay inside. In other words, you'll get those fine… Concerning.” Another wrote, “the flavor is pretty decent but it strings ‘chunky style. All Rights Reserved. Is that what the kids are doing these days? Just what my morning needed!   If you start out with a sharp cheese, your taste buds will be overwhelmed, and you might miss out on the underlying flavors of any mild cheese you eat afterwards. This was THE MOST FUN thank you Riese and Laneia for making my dreams come true, and thank you everyone for hating the Franzia Chardonnay so I could have it. best thing on the internet! order corn, Press J to jump to the feed. The more I east it, the more I can’t stand it.”, “I need a spit cup. It tastes different if you eat it that way to me. Each Cheestring contains 20% of the NRV for Calcium and 25% of the NRV for Vitamin D. Calcium and Vitamin D are needed for the normal growth and development of bones in children. “Buttery,” said one taster. this was hands-down the best thing I’ve ever read. Poor flavor and low stringability.” Other reviewers noted: “Basically wax and not fun to peel at all. String cheese expert Laneia was also taken off guard by this wily dairy stick, recalling “at first this cheese is disappointing, like its flavor is hiding in your mouth. also hilarious to see people you know quoted and then scroll down to see people you know commenting. Heavy and rubbery.”, Rachelle Wise, however, found love in her Precious Stringster package, endorsing it like so: “It’s the cheesiest. Hats off to all the brave, brave testers. I’m putting it on my resumé. I definitely have the wrong friends if I’m not doing stuff like this on a regular basis. I’m so angry. Really feel like I need to repress my feelings about this and then have a panel about it next camp.”. Also boxed wine: It’s probably important to point out there was a lot of Franzia happening during this event. Please keep in mind that comments are moderated by the guidelines laid out in our comment policy. i dont know you, so i want you to know this is coming from a place of love and no judgement and 100% acceptance: that is the whitest thing i have heard today… but like, also something i could very easily see myself doing. It’s fine that you all hate it. No way to explain it. “Wow! However, it isn’t nutritionally good for them and so isn’t a food that they can eat often or eat … This cheese tastes like nothing at all, but the texture is velvety.”, “It kinda melts in your mouth,” Camille Wiseman began, full of hope, before adding, “but not in a good way. Cheese is a great source of calcium, so why is there so much talk about cheese you shouldn’t eat during pregnancy? In general, soft, creamy cheeses are milder than hard ones. Just booked my appointment to get Drunk Pusheen permanently inked on my bod. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! But if you’re a fan of string cheese ― which you should be ― and you’ve ever wondered why in the world it strings when other cheeses don’t, it’s time to delve a little deeper into the cheese-making world. I had so much fun at this, can I consider myself a string cheese connoisseur now? “Surprisingly pleasant,” said another. -started therapy (shoutout to mary the real mvp of 2020) -moved in with friends…, Nice list Riese! Is this article on GoodReads yet?? While a regular slice of Cheddar in their lunchbox might seem unappealing to some children, string cheese is a fun experience, and it offers the same nutritional benefits as regular cheese. Unfortunately, this limited edition selection didn’t exactly arouse its potential appreciatiors: “Not stringy at all,” lamented Dwyn Asher. “Good for snacks — people or dogs,” she advised. I also want to reiterate: Courtney’s face. Later on in life, I realized that many people—I knew and respected—were that kid. Is this a food? (photo by Bree Peacock). 3) Sydney Blanchard, you are a mysterious friend of a friend who somehow shows up all over the internet. At A-Camp this past May, I hosted a star-studded event entitled “String Cheese & Boxed Wine Tasting” with our Executive Editor Laneia. My childhood is ruined.”. Frigo Cheese Heads – 3.6/5. I ended up cohabitating with an entire family of street cats (in a poorer part of Asia) and in addition to milk they’ll eat cheese, tofu, pumpkin, and even rice. Sorry, your blog cannot share posts by email. There are the Chuck E Cheese brand string cheese that are like amazeballs. Drummer is a pretty significant character and its always been obvious…, -i applied to grad school again! People who peel their string cheese tend to be revolted by the idea of just chomping down and would rather take their time slowly peeling the dairy snack apart. “Decent flavor,” lamented Rachelle Wise. The folks at Trader Joe’s may know how to expertly coat a banana slice in chocolate and freeze it, but it seems when it comes to making an adequately stringy string cheese, your local dried mango dispensary has not proven itself worthy of the task. Post was not sent - check your email addresses! Can Dogs Eat String Cheese? Her work has appeared in nine books including "The Bigger the Better The Tighter The Sweater: 21 Funny Women on Beauty, Body Image & Other Hazards Of Being Female," magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nylon, Queerty, Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. Sargento stop lying.”, “I feel strongly that these have all tasted like cheese without jalapeños.”, Dwyn Asher found it “unsettlingly firm.” Furthermore, Dwyn expressed a fear for her own health, managing to jot down “concerned I will die after eating this because this cannot be cheese. The cheeses are listed below in order of the most positively reviewed to the least positively reviewed. A cheese baron from Wisconsin (naturally), Frank's family had been selling cheese since 1916. Can someone endorse me on LinkedIn? This has way more flavor than the others — almost a soft sour overtone that is actually nice.”. By Riese September 19, 2013 8:30pm PDT. “The consistency reminds me of a mucous plug but I ate it anyway,” she wrote below. courtney your face. I eat mine like this and I think there is no shame in it . But there was always that kid on the playground who just bit into it like a candy bar. At least one reviewer struggled opening their package of Precious Stringsters String Cheese, nor was she able to string the cheese once she successfully divorced the fussy snack from its oppressive plastic wrapper. “RuPaul’s Drag Race” Is Queer Women Culture, Pop Culture Fix: Shondaland’s “Bridgerton” Is Confirmed Queer (At Least Briefly), The Comment Awards Are Saying Good F*cking Riddance to 2020. For a reason. Everybody was asked to review the product on a five-star scale. So can hamsters eat string cheese? TJ’s string cheese was panned first and foremost for its ineffective stringiness. It’s not real cheese, but it’s at least less than 50% plastic and salt.”, Katie Mayo felt ambiguously romantic about her afternoon snack, declaring it “tasty, nothing aggressive,” then adding, “Your parents approve of this cheese. Moderately stringy. I want to get drunk on boxed wine and just review this article. And it shouldn’t be. That was not a family film. The result? Some people are all business and eat string cheese in big bites. 2) I am eagerly awaiting the boxed wine reviews. However, I have yet to taste a cheese that combines a passable cheesiness level with a passable tastiness level. For mysterious reasons, the "peeling strands" method of eating string cheese has prevailed for most of the 20th and 21st centuries., My co worker introduced me to them and theyre found in Walmart only as far as we know…lol. BREAKING: Samira Wiley Needs a Boo, Eats String Cheese. Bless that poor customer services person’s heart. You're supposed to string it. There is one school of thought that believes biting into the whole stick of cheese is the way to go. String cheese was always a lunchbox standby. You've decided to leave a comment. Riese I was so proud of your accomplishment! When you make bad string cheese, you ruin childhoods.